I wish I only lived at night.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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