I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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