Swine flu. Run for my life!
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
