At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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