i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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