if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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