She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
