Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
