similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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