Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
