i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
