I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
