She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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