We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
