we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
