Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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