Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
