HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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