I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize