She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
