I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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