i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
