You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize