I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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