I wish I only lived at night.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Still dying that you shit outside
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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