Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I puked a lego.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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