it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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