i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
