I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Non-Jews are for practice
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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