as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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