escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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