I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
