As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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