STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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