Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize