I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
