no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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