i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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