i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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