The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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