some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
