You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
