Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
