Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
