Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
