I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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