the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
