I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
