Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
