hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize