I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
