If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
