you have to choose: penises or morals?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
