Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
