there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
