yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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