we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
