I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
