dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
