I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
