Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
