Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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