I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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